Gustavo

Gustavo is a Mexican grandma fister, Justine's grandma fister, phat dabber and part-time car-parker and clothe-folder, though he quit clothe-folding due to the fact that he wanted to die.

Death
Gustavo died in the year yeah AD when he dropped two cymbals and was executed by tent staff. His death was mourned by all.

According to local sources, he was recently murdered again by Toys "R" Us management because he killed George Michael during Christmas Eve. Last Christmas... he gave him his heart, but the very next day he died.

Adulthood
Gustavo took up the practice of dabbing at the age of 73.6 and began teaching the craft to children, though this was later terminated by the government of Croatia as he was not safe around children. Gustavo also invented the practice of assuming direct control in the year 1912 as the Titanic sank. He did this by double-fisting the normally well-equipped Captain Judy and steering the ship into an iceberg due to his anger issues. The most pain Gustavo was ever in was when he was forcefully transformed into a dog for being "too Mexican". This lasted a small period of 500 million years, but he was soon released of his misery when Dal developed pancreatic cancer once Justine tried to pet him. To this day, archaeologists are still trying to find some evidence of this phenomenon transpiring, but to no avail.

Childhood
Little is known about Gustavo's childhood as he chooses to keep it private. The collection of information discovered by Dal's Nazi scientists includes that he was born with feminine eyes, smoked phat dabs, and was indeed Mexican(citation needed). His father killed him at age ten with a battering ram. The only thing of any notable value is how he stole people's box televisions because they just let this random child with injuries that they didn't know into their house.

Birth
Gustavo was born on a good day to his father Zerg, a carpenter and sock-knitter, and his mother a spider egg sack who housed spider eggs. Gustavo is actually a robot known as the Gus Bot. He runs on double D batteries, can assume direct control of most humans, and can fire lasers out of his ass, mouth, and weave. His programming allowed him to be incredibly mean to Will and he loves it when you nut and scream "KACHOW!".

Quotes
"AHHHHHH."

"phftchs"

"I wanna die?"

"Floor it? FLOOR IT."

"I fucking love memes."

"NO?"

"I'd rather drown."

"YEAH?"

"Do you want to like, leave the mall?"

"When big Larry came 'round just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown, and no girl ever wants to dance with the fool who went and- ripped his pants. I know I shouldn't mope around I shouldn't curse but the pain feels so much worse. 'Cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun than a burn from the sun or sand in your buns. Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget so listen and you won't regret stay true to yourself don't miss your chance and you won't end up like the fool who ripped his pants."

* Strange barking noise*

"Alright, I've had it!... why does no one care?"

"IT'S TILLY TIME!"

"TIME TO GO!"

"please euthanize me like the filthy fucking dog I am"

"TAKE IT EASY!!!"