Max

Max is the current President elect of the Gay Tribe. Ever since he was gang-licked by Italian battle dogs, he has gained worldwide popularity and receives at least 5,000,000 letters from fans each day (they're all death threats) as of November 50th, 2002.

Born in Botswana and educated in Zimbabwe, Max holds a degree in sick skater flips. I’m kidding. Born in the Canadian province of North Dakota and educated in the Russian territory of Alaska, Max holds a degree in absolutely nothing. He has, however, managed to become the President elect of the Gay Tribe. That’s called white privilege, kids.

As the designated wire-chewer, Max has chewed approximately 20,000 important wires since the year 1823 and does not feel sorry for it one bit. Many hospitals have been deprived of proper care as a result and thousands of bitchy elderly folk have died. Serves ‘em right, eh?

Childhood
There is still debate over whether Max had a childhood. Most Democrats say that Max was raised as a cow-sucking Jew while the Republicans agree that Max was born living a life of sin and shame at the age of 80. While debates are conducted frequently, no impasse has yet been reached aside from the fact that he ain’t about shit.

Wiccanism
Max is a hopeless gypsy and worships trees, rocks, birds, and brass doorknobs. According to scholars, he believes that if you don’t slam your front door shut while marching around the house and simultaneously yelling “sunhine deh yah, time fi de busrida, fun time deh yah, ah time fi de busrida” in a sassy black lady voice, a demon will come into your home and wedge a block of cheese into your asshole. This is untrue and a GoFundMe account has been set up to convince Max that goblins and trolls aren’t real. Please donate. Please.

President elect
Max was the Gay Party nominee for President of Gayland and was elected President by an unpopular vote in 1985. The Electoral College of Knowledge has stated that they’re “pissed beyond belief”. A recent claim by the Flemocrats has stated that the Russians hacked the election, but this was debunked when research proved that Max incessantly bitched and whined his way up to the top when things weren’t going his way. Further evidence is expected to be released.